Return to Sapporo, January 2007

New year tradition in the making (20070101)

In what is becoming a Japanese new year tradition for me, I once again became sick. Less vomiting this year, though. And I was at home working instead of shaking like crazy in a capsule hotel. But still.

White sale (20070102)

The number one spare time hobby for Japanese is shopping. Today was the start of the yearly white sale. This means a few stores are open despite the holidays, and they sell most of their stuff for half the normal price. This also means there are quite a lot of people pushing you around. In an attempt to become more like the Japanese I went shopping. Despite Japan being a hot country, there are almost no wearable clothes for sale, only stuff you would wear when for instance sleeping outside in Siberian winter. And of course mini skirts. Strange country indeed. Sadly, the mini skirts do not seem to be available in my size, but at least I finally found some t-shirts.

Small bouncing girls (20070102)

In one of the department stores, in fact close to where they sell Swedish candy, there were small girls in skimpy outfits jumping around. To very loud music.

Food (20070102)

In my mailbox I found a flyer from Pizza Hut. Apparently you can buy a pizza with cheese rolls instead of crust. Then you pour honey on them. Sounds a bit disgusting, but might be good for me who keep loosing body weight despite trying all kinds of things, such as stuffing myself with chocolate. What is wrong with this country? A Swedish acquaintance said "welcome to the club for involuntary weight loss". I also received a free calendar with Nepalese pictures when I bought dinner today.

Temple again (20070103)

Today I returned to the temple to see if there were less people, and indeed after only a few minutes of waiting it was possible to get in. You throw money, pray/wish for something, then go buy a fortune (I got "super lucky") and tie it to a tree.

Japanese winter traditions (20070103)

Maybe this is what I should do? Walk around in a tank top and do push-ups in the street. I think it is a Japanese new year tradition. My Japanese friends think not, but what do they know? This reminds me of a discussion where I supported my brother's description of Japanese new years food as basically "not very tasty, mostly made up of bad puns" (true). This is not true, these are not puns, but Japanese culture, indicating that each type of food has a special meaning. Why this can not at the same time be called a bad pun was very unclear to say the least. Why does eating "kobu" mean you will have a happy year (yorokobu)? Because it is a bad pun? No not at all, it is Japanese culture...

Parts of Sweden, for sale (20070103)

If you have one bill of the highest denomination to spend on something useless, why not by a sign stolen from the Swedish army? Also comes with a note in Swedish explaining that the light is powered by 12 V (i.e. car batteries).

Multi-functional toilets (20070103)

This toilet has the normal functions: flushing the toilet, flushing your ass with clean water, playing annoying sounds similar to hearing a flushing toilet over a phone, and the strange "powerful deodorizer". Did not press that button.

A feast on strange animals and strange parts of normal animals (20070103)

In perhaps my most brilliant stroke of genius this week, I suggested we should go eat "stuff that I have never eaten before" today. This was a very interesting experience. In order: "creamy" intestines, whale bacon, snail (free of charge!), squid intestines stuffed with raw squid, more intestines (less creamy, stronger taste), fried cartilage, fried chicken skin, meat ball made with lots of cartilage on a stick. Thoughts: whale tastes like any other meat, no reason to pay out of your nose for this one (or annoy the rest of the world by killing whales); snails are surprisingly un-disgusting to eat, both taste and consistency are quite ok; creamy intestines are really really creamy, and tastes almost nothing; stronger taste when it comes to intestines is not really a good thing.

More strange food (20070104)

Going out to dinner with another Japanese friend, it was considered very funny that the dinner before was spent eating "weird" food. So today we went for sushi, and only weird stuff was ordered. For instance a handful of small see-through fish, barely dead (or maybe alive, who knows?) and put wrapped in rice and seaweed. Or why not a complete squid dipped in sauce, placed on a bed of rice? One fairly convincing answer would be: "because it is disgusting". The taste is not bad though.

For once tasty food (20070105)

For some hard to grasp reason, todays dinner turned out to consist of delicious food instead of strange animal based creations. Though eating habaneros with traces of chicken was slightly spicy. When it came to drinks, the stuff turned for the disgusting, though. Why drink something that comes in a bottle that looks like a bottle for motor oil, and which actually looks and smells like motor oil? The photo shows some other alcohol based drink, with a snake and some sea horses included amongst the other strange things.

90 minutes of free wine (20070106)

At the pizza place for young people, you can have 90 minutes of "all you can drink" wine. Costs 5 Euros or so.

The worst evening so far? (20070106)

Today disaster struck and my bicycle broke down. I was about 40 minutes away from my home, by bicycle. In a rainstorm. On my way back home, I passed a club which had a new year special, open until 5 in the morning, one drink included, 500 yen. Since this might be a good place to wait out the rain, I entered and did my impression of people dancing for 5 hours, to the amusement of people sober enough to notice. I was hugged by two guys, and laughed at by a girl when I said I was not so interested in dancing with boys. What kind of club is this anyway? When I was tired enough of waiting I went home. The rain was no longer around, but there was a snowstorm instead. It took me one hour and fifteen minutes to run back home with my bicycle. To top of a perfect evening, I dropped one of my gloves during the running and had to run back out and search for it. Luckily, there are not many cars out and about at 4.30, so I could run in the fairly clear tracks made by the few cars that were. Still, I got home soaking wet, more or less all over, from rain, sweat, melted snow and wading through deep puddles. Then my phone rang and I spent a little more than an hour discussing bad puns for C++ exams in Sweden. This left a few hours until the next appointment, badminton...

Traditional Japanese food, also known as disgusting food (20070107)

Japanese traditional food resembles Swedish traditional food in that it is mostly disgusting and worth avoiding. Today consisted of standing around and loosing in badminton with a huge lack of will to move, practicing unarmed bar brawls for a presentation in two weeks with a scared assistant for three minutes, eating strange food (most of tastes OK but looks really bad) and then beating people in Scrabble a few times.

Not skiing (20070108)

Today is a holiday in Japan ("people turning into adults wear kimono"-day). I was scheduled to go skiing with a colleague. On account of this blasted storm still being around, the skiing was canceled (no bus, no lift, no permission, nothing except very very strong winds and falling snow). We went to the beer museum instead. It gives you easy to understand explanations of how to make beer, photos of different stages of beer making in Sapporo and exhibits strange beer can designs. You can also buy beer very cheaply to try out, and entrance is free.

More shopping (20070108)

I managed to find a pair of trousers that actually fit. And comes with an embroidered cat (tiger). Pretty cheap too. Which gives me a nice excuse to present my new theory on taste of clothes. One of the people who went to the wedding in Tokyo showed pictures from the event to relatives during the new year holidays. Photos of me were met with "oohh, he is cool" from the you relatives. "Well you have not seen the crazy man in the flesh, though." This picture of me in my shirt and trousers was met with "Ohh, very cool pants!". So the theory of "Jonas has no taste, other people do" is out, in is "Jonas has taste, young people know what is cool. People who think my style is uncool are simply too old to know what is considered cool, stuck in some old people's notion of fashion sense". The somewhat disturbing competing theory of "Those people must be nerds too, maybe that is considered cool for nerds" has been discredited by the information that "no, they are not nerds, one is even a girl". Evidently, in Japanese girls are never nerds. So it seems my theory is still the best explanation of the facts.

More Japanese foodstuffs (20070108)

Looks like a pack of cigarette, tastes like a can of beer, is a box of candy...

The essentials (20070108)

For some strange reason, the 100 yen shop (where strangely enough everything costs 105 yens) seem to sell pretty much anything you could ever need. Such as clothes, food, furniture and more. And knives. Since my assistant is lacking when it comes to training, and enthusiasm for training, plastic ones are probably the safest choice.

Back from Hades! (20070109)

I finally found someone to fix my bicycle for me today (I could do it myself, but it is cold, dirty and time consuming, so I don't want to). For only 12% of the price of a new bicycle. Life without a bicycle is very very bad here.

Pancakes? (20070109)

A poor Japanese woman who after only one and a half years of studies in Japan, speaks excellent Swedish, was invited to eat Swedish food with crazy Swedes. I was one of the crazy people. But are pancakes really supposed to be red? And taste like vegetables?

Strange cookies (20070109)

Today I received home baked cookies. Heart shapes are traditional, bra shapes not so much. Cats are borderline.

Slow updates (20070110)

Recently there have been complaints on the lack of updates of crazy food and such. Mainly, I have been working. Maybe I am turning Japanese? At least I finally made some progress with my program. And I wrote a paper on something unrelated too.

Screaming about panties (20070111)

Today I went to dinner with two girls at an "all the salad and fruits you can eat"-place. The most unexpected thing was that one of them kept shouting from the salad bar that "hey, these are my panties, you can see them right?" back to our table. OK, yes, we can see them. Which is not that uncommon in Japan, and quite normal in Sweden. But do you need to holler about it? Not that I mind, but I have never heard anyone else do it.

Presents! (20060113)

Today I received some cake and my long awaited knives with kanji. Just in time for the knife fencing presentation!

Vasaloppet? (20060118)

When going to pay my rent for December (almost 15,000 yen by the way, how will I ever survive?), I found the following flyer. In Sweden we have an annual cross country ski competition called Vasaloppet (the race of Vasa), named after our most famous king (Gustaf Vasa). He had to outrun Danish troops going from Mora to Salen in the snow, so the race goes the other way, from Salen to Mora... Evidently, there is one in Japan too.

Hokkaido-Sweden Association (20060118)

Today I was invited (through two different channels, so I felt I could eat twice as much us other people) to the new year party of the Hokkaido Sweden Association (pronounced the same as church in Japanese, by the way). I mainly worked as babysitter for Elin-chan while her mother held a presentation. This is good for getting the attention of young beautiful women. They then tell you stuff like: "We want to take a picture with the cute girl, maybe daddy can take the picture?"... Every time. Todays most amusing event was when the party was over though. Japanese people open lots of bottles of for instance beer and wine for parties. Unlike Swedish people who party until the alcohol runs out, Japanese people party until seven o'clock. Then they poor all remaining alcohol in a bucket and throw it away. The astonished look on the face of the other two grown up Swedes was priceless. Incidentally, there are two competing theories as to why I was not astonished. The first, quite unlikely one, maintains that since I do not generally drink alcohol and am a bore, I do not understand the waste. The other, more likely one, claims that since I am a well traveled man, with a great brain (so I pick up on customs quickly) who has to boot stayed almost 9 months in Japan (never mind that the other two have been here longer) I was wise to the customs of the natives.

Normal Japanese clothes (20070119)

When going to the train station, why not wear a stylish chipmunk outfit?

Dancing in the streets (20070119)

Today I spent some time with among others two other Swedish researchers and my professor. There was practice of English, telling of private relationship stories, drinking of 15 glasses of beer for one person and more. When leaving, there were a group of boys dancing in front of the movie theater across the street, since the windows act like a huge mirror.

"Italian" food (20070119)

After getting kicked out at five in the morning (because they closed) we left the club for foreigners and Japanese smokers. We found a place that still served food, more specifically "Italian" food. Memorable quote from earlier: "My 27 year old girlfriend wants to get married." "No no, you are too young. Go to America instead." Brash Swedish advice given to shy Japanese. I also liked the theory that by shouting "we are not together" and pointing at me while doing the sign for "no/not/forbidden" would make people understand that me and my acquaintance are in fact not married, especially not to each other. Even though we both have blond hair. Doing this in a room drenched in very noisy music, to people with very very limited grasp of English gives the results of people hearing "together together" and seeing me fingered out, and the sign for "forbidden"... I wonder why all the girls she tried to help me with ran away screaming?

Pain (20070120)

Today was the day for the much anticipated fencing show. Since I got home at six in the morning and then did some research for an hour or so, I was not in top form, but it seemed to go over quite well. Despite the low quality Japanese explanations. People getting hurt seems to be a universal cause for joy.

First snow board (20070121)

Today I tried snow boarding for the first time in my life. We were doing this near a volcano, so the smell of sulfur was in the air. I was the only one present not wearing special ski-wear. The reason seems to be that for snow boarding, when ever you need to put it on (like every time you get off the lift) or need a break, you sit down in the snow. So I was very very wet in my jeans. But possibly the most stylish.

Not so exciting sights (20070121)

On the way home from Niseko, I read the list of sights to see in Sapporo. Evidently the second best sight is "a bland new town". In Japanese "r" or "l" makes no difference, but in English, it actually does.

New toy (20070122)

My research money for this fiscal year have been spent. This is the result. Too bad I cannot keep it when I leave. Also a point of amusement, when buying stuff with grant money, it must be classified into the correct group. Computers for 300,000 yen are not "machines" as one might think but "use once and then throw away" items. Anything under 500,000 yen is...

Snow (20070124)

Snow has come. But no one removes it from in front of the bicycle stall, so it is with mixed feelings I see it. Softer to fall in, but your shoes get filled with it every morning. Of course, there is a shovel here, so I could remove it. But what is the point, when there is two new feet of snow the next day?

Baby sitter (20070126)

Since a Swedish friend has a daughter and also had skull surgery this week, I was designated baby sitter today. The downside of having no life I guess. Evidently, you are supposed to rest after surgery, not dope yourself up with pain killers and go to work as my friend shocked the doctors by suggesting. Amazing that they are still amazed, though, after she told them about the "15 beers and dancing until 7 in the morning" event during her antibiotics cure. Still, they seem to think it is an amusing experience, "Remember, no drinking today, you are still full of sedatives, haha. No 15 beers." Anyway, after looking like an idiot at the kindergarten (I finally found the door, though), I pulled the sled with the kid along behind my bicycle on the somewhat slippery road for cars (the sidewalk is crowded with people walking). Somewhat to the astonishment of the kindergarten staff. What can be a better baby sitter experience than eating at McDonald's (healthy, of course, but sticky with ketchup all over us), going to a gambling parlor and buying expensive jewelry? Well, the high speed, bicycle and sleigh chase maybe. She only fell of three times.

More "English" (20070126)

She of lovers me, indeed.

More weird food (20070127)

Why do they put whipped cream on vegetable stew? Why do they put lots of small fish in your rice? Is removing the heads and other disgusting parts too much work?

Snow (20070129)

Today we had snow, about the same as every day. Today it was not as hot as normal, though, so the snow did not melt. From lunch (when I arrived at the university) to evening this much snow landed on my bicycle. It was hard to figure out which one was mine. It was also hard to get it into the garden where I live. The other lazy tenants behave just like me, so no snow is ever shoveled.

Complaints should likely be sent to Jonas. If you would like to have a high resolution copy of one of these images (or some other you suspect I have), please feel free to let me know.